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Moving On

Hi there, if you've stumbled upon my Blogger page. I'm not here anymore. You can find my ramblings on Substack now. Maybe I'll see you there. 



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Remember Who You Are

Hello my name is Léyanie and 5 weeks ago I was suicidal. Worse than that even, I was panicking and suicidal. And I completely felt unhinged from reality. I wasn't technically psychotic. I had insight into my behaviour and my thinking being terribly wrong and frightening, and uncharacteristic of myself, but I was terrified that I could have easily tipped over to the psychotic and done something dreadful to myself. I required immediate assistance and intervention, I was resigned to the fact that I was probably going to be hospitalized, but I am lucky to have a great doctor and she prescribed medication that helped and I spent a week with my Dad. My family dropped their lives to support me as best they could. My sister was key in that intervention, bundling me up and taking me to my doctor and then dropping me off at Dad's. She checked in everyday with me, as did my great friends, and I am so very thankful for that. What you may not know about this story is that prior to my breakd...

The Rain Wizard

Life is a cause for disillusionment at the moment. I was going to write a post about all the disillusioned things when I realised I had a draft post waiting in the wings from a few weeks ago. So here it is... The weather has been dreary drizzle where I live. It's also the final stretch of school holidays, so I am a slightly bit battle fatigued from all the children being home. Yesterday I went for a walk in the rain to get milk. I needed the walk and milk was in short supply in the fridge. We run out of milk and bread at a rapid pace when everyone is home. Walking always gives me breathing and thinking space. It also gives me opportunities to take photos which I put on Instagram, my visual gratitude diary. Or "life isn't so bad if you can find beauty in mundane things" diary. While  walking in the drizzle, I was reminded of when I was a kid and use to stand outside the front of my childhood home when it was raining. Not pouring rain, but the dreary, cold drizzle. It w...

A Secret Gate

" Still round the corner there may wait A new road or a secret gate And though I oft have passed them by A day will come at last when I Shall take the hidden paths that run West of the Moon, East of the Sun." J.R.R. Tolkien I came across this quote by Tolkien when I was trying to think of a caption for this photo I took of a gate at my local park. I like taking photos. I have an Instagram account that is my creative outlet. Photos are quick and simple, which fits well into my not so simple life. I usually try to think up some whimsical nonsense to caption my photos, but this particular instance, I decided to search for a quote by someone else. And I came across Tolkien. Sometimes we stumble across things when we most need them. I do feel like a new road or gate is just around the corner, but perhaps unknowingly I'm wandering past such gates and roads everyday. Not realising that they may lead me to new adventures, maybe magic and just maybe finding some happiness and peac...