Life, the Universe and the Melancholic

My mental health has taken a bit of a dive. I feel unstable, wobbly of the mind. Lately I have been thinking, " I could write a suicide letter on my blog. No one would notice. "  So yeah, not a great thought process to have. Life is a struggle, challenging, relentless. Steam rolling me into the ground, again and again and again. And when I feel like I am clear, far enough to catch my breath, the life steam roller descends and I am squished into the mud of despair once more.  The thing is, I have been functional, doing really well even. As I have recovered the practical support has dried up. I don't expect to be handheld through life forever, but ongoing support, especially from family surely is not too much to ask? It saddens me that people who profess to love me and my partner and our children, only offer support when everything falls apart. Perhaps our lives wouldn't fall apart if offered consistent, practical support. Since I began to function like myself again, I