Dandelion Wishes

Tomorrow I start my new meds. With much trepidation. But I know I can't function at a reasonable capacity in my current state. I also know that new medication could also set me back. Perhaps months. A year even.

If things go bad and I don't post an update. I may be very sick. Maybe I'll be dead.

This blog means so much to me. It's the most creative and meaningful outlet I have had for myself, along with my Instagram account, for a very long time.

Writing honest thoughts and feelings about life and my universe while navigating my way through a mental breakdown. It has been one of the bravest things I have done. Sending it all out to the internet. Scattering thoughts through time and space, like wishing upon a dandelion in the wind. I wish for a simple life. That feels beautiful.

Comments

Remember Who You Are

Hello my name is Léyanie and 5 weeks ago I was suicidal. Worse than that even, I was panicking and suicidal. And I completely felt unhinged from reality. I wasn't technically psychotic. I had insight into my behaviour and my thinking being terribly wrong and frightening, and uncharacteristic of myself, but I was terrified that I could have easily tipped over to the psychotic and done something dreadful to myself. I required immediate assistance and intervention, I was resigned to the fact that I was probably going to be hospitalized, but I am lucky to have a great doctor and she prescribed medication that helped and I spent a week with my Dad. My family dropped their lives to support me as best they could. My sister was key in that intervention, bundling me up and taking me to my doctor and then dropping me off at Dad's. She checked in everyday with me, as did my great friends, and I am so very thankful for that. What you may not know about this story is that prior to my breakd...

A Bridge Between Worlds

I'm unwell with Covid. Four of the children have Covid and are all recovering well. The youngest has been very hard work. She bounced back rather quickly from Covid and only has residual effects. Me on the other hand, I am struggling. I was already exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally, before Covid decided to take residence in my body. I'm fatigued, lethargic. Short of breath. I'm grief stricken. It's Mother's Day here in Australia today. It feels wrong that Mum is not here. I would have spent some time with her today at the nursing home. Probably see my Dad and my brother too. Instead I'm home with Covid and I feel like I'm dying. I've barely been able to truly rest during the day. Laying down, yes. But when a 5 year old wants to play, eat and bounce, there's not much peace in that. The older children have done their best to help, but they are both getting over Covid too. It's also my parents wedding anniversary today. They never made...

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Life, the Universe and the Melancholic

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