Dimensional Intersection

Sometimes I feel like my soul is separating from my body and that's why I panic.

That sounds bonkers. I know how it sounds. I have often felt like that in the last 18 months. Somehow, I feel like I exist in two dimensions. Overlapped and intersecting each other. Perhaps I have to make a choice of which one I belong in. Or which one feels most like home. Or which one wants me the most.

Maybe I have gone crazy.

I don't know anything about anything anymore.

I'm trying so hard to stay.

The hardest story to write, is the one of your own life.

I don't think I am the one with the pen anymore.

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Shooting Stars

My Mum died. Her last breath of life left her at 9.37pm, 8th September. I held her hand and kissed her forehead as she left. I had made a "Mum" playlist of all her favourite songs I could remember. She slipped away listening to the song Could I Have This Dance by Anne Murray. It was hers and Dad's song. The next song that played was Over The Rainbow by Judy Garland. She would sing this to us when we were babies. And then to the grandbabies. They say babies decide when it's time for them come, to be born. My beautiful mother picked her moment to die. She had impeccable timing. If she didn't. It was one hell of an extraordinary coincidence. I am heartbroken. Bereft. Distraught. Grief stricken. All the words and feelings and states of being that convey loss. Somehow it's still not enough. Two days leading up to Mum dying, I would go outside in the evening and look at the sky. Silently praying for a miracle. Each night I seen shooting stars...falling stars. I...

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Life, the Universe and the Melancholic

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