Chance Encounters

Last week I put my script in at the pharmacy for my "keep Fred in his box" medication. When I went to the counter to pick them up, the man at the counter handed them to me and asked why I was taking them, "There's a few things you can take that for is all", he said. I resisted the urge to blurt out that my brain is broken and that it is an anti-Fred, and just explained it was being used as an antidepressant. He went on to ask if I would be interested in some supplements that could help. "Yeah sure, why not", I said. I figured what could it hurt. He writes down the supplements on a piece of paper, but also walks me through some of the ones available at the pharmacy. The list was for vitamin B, vitamin D, flaxseed oil and probiotics. He also let me know about a book that he recommends and a group that runs seminar type sessions on depression and brain health, among other things. I was very grateful, "Thanks for helping me out. I think I was close to ending up in hospital, so I am willing to throw anything at this". He proceeded to write down his number and said "I wouldn't normally do this, but if you would like anymore information, just shoot me a text. You will get better."
It was a brief moment in time, but somehow it was significant. This person was helpful and I felt genuine in his approach in providing further assistance for my plight. Perhaps he just wanted to sell me more stuff, but I certainly didn't get that impression. I came home and mentioned it to my partner, whose response was, "Getting numbers from strange men now are we". I had a bit of a laugh, I hadn't even thought of it that way. I don't think there was any ulterior motive in that respect. But I was humbled by the interaction nonetheless. I think kindness and caring and consideration are commodities of humanity that are at risk of dying out. When someone is genuinely kind towards me, I waver between surprised, bewildered, humbled and "It's a trap" feelings. I don't particularly feel very kind myself, perhaps I mistake kindness for friendliness, which doesn't come naturally either. I have always been shy, painfully so as a kid. The hide around my Mum's skirt kind of shy. My shyness is coupled with a bit of skepticism and I am painted with the cynical brush. All this kindness, care and consideration is not my natural habitat. Well at least that is what I tell myself. Our minds are remarkably clever at making us think and perceive things that aren't true or real. Maybe I am friendly and kind, but just don't realise it. I remember reading an internet tidbit about the perception of self. That friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances, even a random person on the street has this construct of you, and then there is the construct you have of yourself and then there is the actual you. Are you the sum of all those things? Anyway I am wandering off on a tangent, that probably makes no sense. That's not unusual.
I really like having meaningful conversations with people, and this chance encounter, a few minutes out of my day, brought it into focus how little I have that. Life has been a hamster wheel of box ticking and getting from A to B and never-ending grocery shopping. I loathe grocery shopping. I miss talking philosophy and religion, politics and social progress, art, space and time, the universe. Love and loss. Meaningful exchanges, where maybe the person I am interacting with might say something  useful or helpful or insightful and I may do the same for them. Like a helpful man in a pharmacy who has no idea how much it means to me that he said, "You will get better."